I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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