i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
