if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
