what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
