I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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