Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
