Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
