Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
