He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
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