I hope mine doesn't look like that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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