Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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