You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
