is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
