just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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