They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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