Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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