omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
