Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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