he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
