Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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