Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
