He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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