jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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