My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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