Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I deserve this hangover.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
