four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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