No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
