hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
