Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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