At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
