did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
