dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
