This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
