omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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