Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
