Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
