I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
