omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My cat gives me a boner
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i now understand why vodka
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
