At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
