wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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