we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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