I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
