I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
