U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
