So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
