Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
