There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
