so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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