If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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