what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
