Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
