I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
