Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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