strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
