Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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