well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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