I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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