One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She's the barista slut.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize