You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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