I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
