I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
