Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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