Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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