tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
