This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
